the prettier the pictures, the sadder the life

you are the only person who can make me feel guilty about being angry, you constantly remind me of how worthless, ugly and underachieved i am. thanks, i really don’t need that reminder. you make me feel like im trapped in this prison called home and i wish and pray that somehow things will change for the better. but it doesn’t. and its a viscous cycle that makes me sick. i just want to leave it all behind and start afresh somewhere new.

i don’t think i remember how not to hurt anymore. its something that has built its home in my heart. most of the time it’s kept inside and suppressed, but when field day comes, i really just wanna rip it out and toss it into the ocean. 

Perplexed

The more I can’t have it, the more I want it.
But once I’ve gotten it, somehow it’s isn’t quite the same anymore. 

Perhaps what I like is the idea of a “you”, but not an actual “you”. Sometimes, it really does feel like I’ve completely lost it – the ability to feel – joy, pain, anger, anything, something real. I’m not talking about annoyance, or happiness anything temporal. 

Perhaps I don’t even know what I want anymore. I do know what I don’t want though. Or perhaps I really do, I just don’t dare admit it. Singlehood is annoying, like some sort of a disease and it hits you like a plague and somehow everyone just steers clear and magically finds love. Clearly something I can’t seem to get. And if that’s not all, things actually do spiral downwards from there. It’s actually starting to sound more like a rant.

Underachievement – how is this one measured? Sometimes I feel like my career is at a standstill, it’s stuck and I don’t even comprehend why the heck I am still stuck here when everyone around me seems to be travelling the world. Opportunity doesn’t just come knocking when you sit on your bum – but why does that contradict the fact that there’s a right time and space for everything? 

Appreciation – they say as you grow older, the people around you get fewer and fewer. and woe to the one who is unlike the norm of having just one group of friends they can hang with week after week. sadly, i can’t, don’t have one, don’t know how to have one either. once a free spirit, always a free spirit. they forgot to tell me that a free spirit is also often alone. and yet, no one ever wants to be alone. 

2012: A Year in Photos

Thank you, what’s next?

City of Dreams – Alesso & Dirty South

It’s the time of the year that is supposedly the peak once again. The last few days of the year that everyone tends to obsess over. Plans for countdown, throwing the biggest parties, attending the biggest parties, or on the other end, it’s basking in the stillness, reflecting on the past year and making resolutions.

It’s been a good 1 year plus since I last wrote, and perhaps its my way of wrapping things up for 2012. With all these free time on hand, you can’t help but think, so what?

So what if your countdown was a total blast and you have the best time of 2012?
So what if you reflect on every good and bad thing that has happened?
So what if you set amazing goals and resolutions for 2013?

Perhaps it sounds a little jaded. But at the end of the day, what do all these count for? Our pursuit of happiness is but temporal, at most short lived. Maybe it’s the bitterness and regret that I should have taken the first flight out for NYE earlier this week. Even then, that would be a temporal escape. Instead here I am in bed penning my wrap up, my final catharsis of the year before an exciting 2013.

To sum up my 2012 – it would be: Thank you, what’s next?

I’m thankful for all the experiences that have happened. The spontaneous travels, unexpected parties, new friendships. Yes, the way I see it, planning tends to take away most of the fun. Experiences should be lived out, not predicted. And that was how most of 2012 went. It was great, no regrets, and I’d  do the same for 2013, this time, with less procrastination.

Yes, that caused my NYE abroad. Sometimes, I fall into the cycle of “What ifs” – What if things happened differently? What if I was daring enough to do what I really felt? Or say the words that were in my head? That’s regret.

Perhaps there were many things that could have gone differently, but I believe God has the right timing for everything. I can feel it, 2013 – it will happen. Call it faith, self-fulfilling prophecies, motivation what nots. What’s going to happen next is what you make it out to be. With faith on the big guy above of course.

I can’t wait. I can’t wait to get out of Singapore. To start a life in a new country, a new job, new experiences. Even if I can’t move out of this place, things will definitely be different. No more being passive, over analyzing stuff or procrastinating. Someone once told me, if you have all these ideas in your head and you are not going to use them, then when will you ever?

 

bright lights and adrenaline

the temper trap – love lost

blinding lights, drum beats as heartbeats
the world begins to fade with the pump-mutings
the crowd screams

the music, that voice, it speaks to you
as if you were right there on stage
belting your heart’s tune to the world at your feet
you float, astral project and rise above all

for a moment, nothing seems to matter,
for a moment, it was just you against the world
for a moment, that world was right under your feet
for that moment, you were dancing to the right beat

The Black Sheep of PR: A PR Nightmare of a Survey

 A PR nightmare of a survey

Published April 23, 2011
By JOYCE HOOI
REPORTER

IF you were among the 500,000 people worldwide recently that a certain PR firm had chosen to annoy, you would have stood a 1-in-500,000 chance of winning an iPad 2.

All you would have to do is answer 15 questions in a survey called ‘What Journalists Want From PR’.

I suppose that after figuring which end of the phone to speak into, the hardest task is figuring out what journalists could possibly want from PR professionals.

But you would have thought that what journalists do not want would have been obvious: an e-mail like this.

The questionable nature of offering a freebie this shiny and coveted to a journalist aside, the survey gets a little bit ahead of itself by asking a barrage of questions about social media such as ‘Do you follow and friend corporate communications or public relations professionals on Twitter, LinkedIn or Facebook?’.

‘What, they think the answer might be ‘yes’?’ a horrified colleague had asked.

That the question even had to be asked means we can assume that these are the PR people who are not already friends with the journalist in question, who have no legitimate reason to want to be their ‘friend’ on a site where people do overly friendly things like ‘poke’ each other.

To be sure, such a question needs another kind of survey instead – one of your Facebook friend requests and every journalist who has not accepted yours.

It is baffling that anyone would think that someone else would welcome being followed around on Twitter and harassed in 140 characters or less. ‘hi when is the story cmg out? tks!’

In any case, the survey gets ahead of itself because it does not ask the most fundamental questions that PR people ask on nose-to-the-grindstone days. While the survey might fail to ask them, I will provide the answers:

• No, you may not read the story before it comes out in print.
• No, The Business Times and The Straits Times are not the same paper even though we have the same parent. Would you like us to run a story on your sister instead of you and ask you what the difference is?
• No, you may not have the questions beforehand. It’s an interview, not an exam, and your CEO is a big boy.

Growing numbers

These questions are bound to be asked over and over, and in much greater frequency. In a cover story for the Columbia Journalism Review last October, Dean Starkman said with a tinge of foreboding: ‘We are living in a time of PR ascendance.’

He cited figures showing that the ratio of PR people to news reporters has grown drastically in America. In 1980, that ratio was 0.45 PR folks to 0.36 journalists per 100,000 population. Today, that ratio is 0.90 PR people to just 0.25 journalists per 100,000 population.

Mr Starkman estimated that since 2000, the news business over there has lost 15,000 journalists, all of whom were presumably too busy to come into work after rejecting friend requests from PR people on Facebook became a full-time job in its own right.

‘While journalism has withered, PR has bloomed like a rash,’ he noted morosely.

To be fair, there are many PR people on the island who are a dream to work with, are intimidatingly competent and make navigating unfamiliar territory a less onerous experience.

But this survey unwittingly reveals that some only signed up because they thought they would be a PR person the way Samantha from Sex and The City is a PR person – with exclusive parties every week, lots of air-kissing and utterances of ‘Dahling’.

They hadn’t bargained for having to jump up and down in a suit, yelling, ‘Off the record!’ to drown out their client’s answer to anything not in the press release or suffering the indignity of pitching news about people sitting in the dark for an hour every year in a bid to save the planet.

Some of them must not have foreseen the tedious reality of writing press release after press release on matters they neither understand nor care about – which would explain one of the questions in the survey: ‘What elements should a press release contain so as to make it most helpful for your writing/reporting?’.

In responding, you are invited to check any number of available choices which include, ‘Clear and concise facts about the ‘who, what, where, when, why’ of the release’.

English, please

No, please, forget the ‘why’. It’s heaps more fun to make that stuff up. And please, if you must include a ‘why’, such as why a certain executive is stepping down from the board, being ‘clear and concise’ is overrated. You should, in the words of a certain MNC’s press release, say that he did it because of ‘diverging views on the future strategic focus of the company’.

Then, we get to call you up to ask that you translate it into English. We might eventually fall into such a rich and rewarding conversation with you that we add you as a friend on Facebook and spend the rest of our days blissfully exchanging Farmville requests.

$5 for a travel pillow

Grapevine Fires – Death Cab for Cutie

It’s about 1.23 in the morning and I’m curled up on a plane bound for Melbourne. Usually I’d be heading out for some snacks with the midnight buddies or tucked away in bed either knocked out from the exhaustion of work or passing the time watching some silly sitcom.

Instead, I’ve just awoken from my countless attempt to get some shuteye on JQ8. It’s my first long haul flight on budget. I’ve not flown more than three or four hours in a couple of years, and definitely not on economy. I’m fortunate enough to have not one but two seats to myself on this flight, and located next to the window near the front – which means easy access to the loo. I personally don’t enjoy long flights, 1hr into it and I’m bored outta my wits. I’ve now watched two episodes of Gossip Girl’s re-runs, one and a half movie, and read a magazine. And yet, I still have about 5 more hours to go. Dear God help me. I’m wide-awake and my body is aching as if I am 99 years old.

So here I am, up and writing and thinking, and seeing ancillary services take place live before my eyes. It’s funny how much we used to talk about it while I was working on Amadeus, and the countless articles I’ve researched and read about it. The online debates, trends and what-nots.

As the carts go down the isle, something different is offered each time, be it food, in-flight entertainment, a wine or two, and even pillows and blankets. Everything you can possibly think of to make your flight more comfortable and enjoyable. I can’t help but think about how these components and services offered to airlines gives travellers a new sense of transparency to what they are paying, and allow low cost carriers to create a whole new market share in the airline industry.

To my right is a big Caucasian dude, probably in his 60s or so, curled up fast asleep. Lucky for him, he has the whole centre row all to himself. A few hours earlier, as the various passengers peer into the pushcarts and browse through their menus, Mr BigGuy whipped out a foot long Subway sandwich from his bag and gobbled it down like it was the best steak sandwich he’s ever had. As I flipped through the menu, glancing over the price of each items, AUD$3.50 for a bottle of water, AUD$4 for a pack of crackers etc., I saw how these ancillary components start to take place. If you’re stuck up above the skies, with 5hours or longer in the plane, you’d do anything to make yourself feel better and more comfortable. Even if you have set your mind to not give in to these extra charges and inflated prices. I couldn’t help but feel ripped off for having to pay such inflated prices for items you can grab off a convenient store before hopping onto the plane.

Like Mr. BigGuy, I had just finished my tiny pack of petit Danish that I grabbed off Starbucks while running for boarding. That and a small pack of Ritter Sport and I was all set to go – yes, you always have to have chocolate. If its anything, that will keep you happy. So now I’m sitting here craving for a glass of ice tea to wash it down, or perhaps something a little stronger, Whiskey perhaps to put me back to sleep. And I contemplate about having to fork out that extra ridiculous amount, and having less shopping money. Yes, it’s always fashion over food. So for people like me, does ancillary services work? Anyone can easily grab a bag of chips and some soda before entering the gates. Laptops, iPads, iPhones can easily replace inflight entertainment. Most unfortunately, nothing can replace the uncomfortable seats.

These little add-ons, are as easily avoidable, as they are readily available and convenient to travellers. Perhaps if these costs were actually hidden within the ticket price, as per a normal air ticket, we might not feel that ripped off after all. Then why break up these costs? Why give people the option? Do airlines make a profit from these ancillary goods? With the demand for low cost carriers constantly being on the rise, especially in APAC where travel is often relatively short distanced, it does prove that people would pay for choices and transparency. Maybe it is a matter of camouflaging the hidden costs by making them ‘transparent’ and separate. Either way, the more comfortable you want to feel on board, the more you’ll have to pay, whether you see the costs or not. 

Keeping it a mystery

The XX  – Stars

The research is endless, with so much you can read online, on blogs, news sites, travel sites etc. Everyone who’s been is more than happy to share their take of the place with you, what you should look out for, what’s good to try. It’s exciting as hell, with all the planning, but this just raises the expectations subconsciously. Don’t get me wrong, these are definitely note-worthy tips and insights to remember, but every experience in itself is unique.

The Top 13 places, as recommended by The New York Times, to rub shoulders with Melbourne’s ‘it’ crowd, to eat, breathe and live the culture seems enticing. Sure, all these planning seems to give this trip some order, but how much of it will i possibly follow? Being the free-spirited girl I am, having some sort of plan always puts restrictions to things. Isn’t travel all about discovering new sights, sounds and meeting all sorts of people who come your way?

I had always thought the fun and excitement came from the great unknown, the mystery in foreign land that you know nothing about, and the moment where you encounter everything for the first time. Planning sets expectations, and expectations often lead to disappointment because the greed in our human nature always asks for more, and thus, is never satisfied. Pictures are edited, experiences are personal and subjective, reviews might have an agenda, and travel sites market only the best. These ‘farang’ areas are usually the eye shadows, mascara, and concealers of a city. It is what makes a city look beautiful and appealing, not exactly what it really is. To me, it’s the hidden imperfections that gives a place character, the tucked away gems that adds that spark in the eyes, and the rustic rugged edges that gives it the charm and demeanor it possesses.

Sure there are places to go, sights I would like to visit, but the whole mystery of what the place is actually like, how it smells, the bustling crowd or the serene nature of it always intrigues me. I’d rather have no clue about what to expect than to go with a check list of things I’d like to tick of.

For now, browsing through all these sites just makes me more anxious of jumping on that plane!

 

In Black and White

Good Days Bad Days – Kaiser Chiefs

A girlfriend of mine shared this with me, and trust someone to come up with something so apt! Well if only it was all that simple hassel free. That said, this is so perfect for a ladies night out-ish type of party. no it’s not for me, i just found this amusing! i’m sure there’s one out there for the boys as well.

Imagine the whole process it cuts out, the pin-drop-awkward silences, the “no-thank-you-i’m-trying-to-be-polite-here” smiles, the shut-up and drink up moments. On the flip side, can the things that really attract you, the tingles in your fingers, the coy gaze, and that twinkle in the eye, really be penned down and documented?

mid week bumming

Calendar girl – Stars
Le Chocolat at The Club

The jump from the overdose of pressure and stress to having absolutely nothing to do can be quite a big leap. A couple of weeks back at this time on a Wednesday, I’ll be fighting the Z-monster busy churning out some sort of report, or if im lucky, a nice piece of writing. and now, it feels like I’ve taken a big leap into the vast ocean, where everything seems so carefree and the opportunities are endless.

Le Chocolat is a pretty nice quaint little cafe. I’d much prefer sitting outdoors but the sun looks like its out with a vengeance today. I’d never expect so many people to have nothing to do on a Wednesday afternoon, and just bumming around. Apart from the rather odd music choice for a cafe, yes, it’s blasting club hits like flo rida, I must say it is a rather nice place to sit and let the afternoon go by. The layered chocolate cake’s pretty good, a bit on the sweet side, but with a nice mix of textures between the layers.

I actually did not realize how much I miss writing until I took a writing test a couple of weeks back. In this line, press releases, media pitches, briefing documents are churned out on a daily basis. But how much thought and creative thinking actually goes into developing one? I do find myself guilty of simply going with the flow at times, and staying on the safer side of things, just to please the people around you. Being safe hardly delivers outstanding results. How many success stories have you heard actually result from taking the tried and tested method? Perhaps this is the reason why boutique agencies are currently on the rise, and also possibly explains why Apple’s bold enough to create their own market share and their own voice, as opposed to stealing space from its counterparts.

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the wild flower in a field of daisies

 

you’re brave, you smile.
a smile that masks everything,
a smile so real, it seems like there’s no paddling
beneath that calm surface
but still waters run deep
and
till we lay our heads on strawberry fields
to bask in the warm sunshine
living like there’s no tomorrow
living like today’s your last
living like ever moment counts
living like you don’t have a pass

what’s love when you ain’t got a lifetime
what’s there for you to lose
when you’ve lost it all

i get these weird tingly feelings,
every time i see couples holding hands
part of me wishes to be a part of that cast
part of me will never understand
the things beyond comprehension
the things beyond anyone’s control
the reasons to justify actions
the story never told

so you fight, for what’s left to be fought
yet you find yourself back at the start of the line
cashing the wind and caching the leaves of autumn
that glimmer of hope that helps us sleep at night
thinking there’s sunshine after rain tomorrow,
perhaps the storm has yet to approach
maybe it is already gone
the champagne’s popped,
bubbly to go around

 

 

 

i am writing again

a catharsis, to fill a void, to share and my canvas

Isn’t it amazing, how 17 can be?
Isn’t it so exciting, just like romance novel’s scenes.
Colourful pictures on the wall,
always waiting for the telephone call.
A cry in the dark, a broken heart, a first-time kiss, I’ve seen it all.

 

recycled

and we party like there’s no tomorrow

lionel, mae, jas, shaun, mark, nic and paul

following the whole entire chaotic day of running around in heels at the marina bay sands, i ran into paul from plus six five on the way to the media cocktails. after a whiskey with the press, and the usual pr hihellogoodbye, i found myself at the mbs lounge with mae and the bunch of guys.

went along to the launch of Avalon after, and the rest is just crazy fun. well, despite it being an outdoor event and the guys were all in their full suits, the open bar and champagne played a pretty good distracting part. it wasn’t long before we were all happily bouncing around.

what can i say.. it’s the company that makes a great party..

the night was still young, and we headed off to zouk for another round and one of the best nights ever. probably because the alcohol kicked in at about the right time for everyone.

l’ouverture officielle du Marina Bay Sands

it’s been 2 weeks and it’s still one of the best day ever.

launch of marina bay sand 2 wednesdays ago turned out to be one hell of a night. and i’m really glad i was pulled out of the office to help onsite for the launch. even if it was THAT last minute. nothing can be worse than being stuck glued to your seat all day growing fat on your ass.

so the launch was pretty insane, intense and invigorating all at once. i mean, 1000 over media?! it was nice to see the familiar faces again, and bumped into Mya who used to be at Female, the catalog crew and many more.

i remember getting pulled to hand out ear the concert stage to hand out umbrellas and assist the media. It started to drizzle, and in front of our little box of umbrellas and poncho, all hell broke loose. ive never believed that the general public could be this barbaric and unreasonable. i know its raining, and i would very much love to hand out brollies to all who needs it, but it was under strict instructions that these were only for media as we had very limited ones, and the media were our guest. so we had countless of aunties and uncles coming up to ask for one and telling us that we’re heartless to leave them standing in the rain and what not. and it got worse when they tried to snatch it from us. come on, snatching?! we also had a couple who were so desperate that they were willing to pay us for the brollies! mm.. imagine the amount we’d make?! oh well, i was pretty shocked by the behavior and lack of understanding. how are these people even allowed into mbs?!

i always thought mbs had a certain class and grandeur about it, but seeing some folks strolling around in their tattered shots and slippers just totally kills the image. on one side you see these strolling rags, and on the other, its juxtapose by these men and women in their full tux and evening gowns. get the picture now?

it was chaotic, and busy and everything in between, but at the end of the day, despite the fact that we all couldn’t feel our legs, knee down, it was one of the best events ever.

and the night was even better..