shopping : girls = beer : boys

i think about reviving this and i feel tired and gravitate towards my bed. somehow the weekends seem much shorter than it used to be. somehow i don’t get to spend enough time with my bed, enough time doing the things i love, and perhaps endless mindless surfing of fashion blogs and pretty pictures.

the thought of having to wake up in about 6 hours just makes me wanna get all angsty and hate the world. mornings are bad when you don’t get enough sleep. and that makes me angsty and pissed off about the slightest things. its so bad, but i believe there are millions of others who feel the same, except all you weirdos morning people.

anyway, went for a mini dempsey flea with the girls from edelman. boy are they dressed up for a sunday. the last thing i ever wanna do on a weekend is to dress up. ok maybe i would. i dunno. but oh well, it was nice everyone was all pretty and dressy. i dont think ive been out with such a big a buncha girls in quite a while. i was never the clique type for some reason. but it was fun. shopping is to girls like beer is to guys. it never fails to make everyone happy.

the dempsey flea was rather disappointing. i wouldnt even call it a flea. thankfully we decided to go down to haji and to our surprise there was a flea going on there! totally made my day! according to jon sup was having a bbq and the fixies were all there. bumped into the guys with their flashy bikes. im totally loving the whole flea atmosphere there. everyone’s just chill and doing their thing and friendly and all. this really cool flea dude, sea wong, had his stall there and i managed to get a pierre cardin blazer for quite the steal! his stuff are absolutely vintage-lovely. shoulder pads, tweed, detailed buttons and all things vintage. definitely one of my favourite flea shops. the rest were mostly blog shops which never quite interest me. i mean, no one would wanna go around wearing something half the girls on the street owns and knowing that it comes from bangkok, why would i pay the inflated price? i mean there are some blog shops with good designs and quality, and then there are those wannabes that totally kill the scene. looks like there are always bad eggs in the basket.

this reminds me, im really missing bangkok so so much. i really cant wait for the next time i get to go there. somehow im wishing by some miracle i can go there over this weekend. I NEED A MIRACLE! or a really rich ass bf who love me to bits.  hiaz.. me and my fairy tale imaginary life.

in for the chase, its a closed case

what happens when you’ve gotten what you wanted?
what happens when you’re satisfied? when you hold in y our hands the very thing you’ve always wanted. what if when you’ve gotten what you really wanted, you realize that it isnt what you thought it would be? is it wrong to be wanting something else? or maybe someone else?

people often say they know what they want, they know what they are looking for. sure there are certain specifics we all are certain of, but the bigger picture can only be seen when you’ve pieced every part of the puzzle. sometimes i cant help but wonder, am i sure this is exactly what i want? very often it boils down to one simple statement of being happy. but it isnt always that simple. we will never be contented.

when would you know when you’ve found the right one? when can you be so sure that that’s the one guy u’ll be happy with for god knows how long?! what if you had a chance, and thought too much and let it slip on by? moments only come once, does it mean our propensity for us to live in regret increases as we age? a friend once told me love is when you give yourself up to someone and hang yourself on a tree. could love be such a cruel thing? or perhaps its the fact that the harder we try to understand, the more we tend to over think and screw things up.

sometimes i really wish things could be simple and just come out right..

the big corporate eat off

the whooper maiden had her very first whooper burger at the bk bar on tuesday with the corp team. it was my second outing with the folks at edelman, but the first with the corp team. it was pretty nice, just that i was struggling to down the huge ass burger. seriously.. i’d be much happier off with the tiny sliders anyday. was never a big fan of fast food, but it wasnt that bad, just overly large. i cant imagine how anyone can stomach the double or triple whooper. it’s insane. and i must say the espresso sundae was the best thing i had the whole night! its the fast food version of an affogato, without compromising the standard of espresso too!

edelfolks: del, kk, charlotte, kel, juls, me, jocelyn, the boss jon, mark, sueann, kim, fenix and keith

i must say the outing was very much different from the one i had with the guys from the tech team on friday. they’re both fun, but in a very different way. friday was crazy.. and i never expected to end up at butter with carmen and cindy. i missed dre’s crazy mixes. hopefully there’ll be another party real soon. indian food with the boss and team was delicious! mmm.. it was worth braving the heavy spicy smell that sticks to you like glue..

by a thread

this blog is kinda dying. and i need to do something to revive it. soon. but i’ve been barely surviving with the scraps amount of sleep i can get.

so i’ve finally started work. at a really good pr firm. one of the top 3 in the region in fact. and im really really happy i got the job. it was that or nothing. so thank god for that. im refusing to out the name down in case this comes up in any searches. u’ll never know. work starts in an hour and im feeling even more exhausted than before i went to bed. i seriously need a break soon.

i love the shit loads of work. maybe not all the time, but the stress level is good. keeps you going. at least pushing me to reach to my 5-year goal/plans. i had just shared it with my director yesterday, so hopefully that will stick in his head. i actually enjoy working there quite a bit. i just HATE the waking up at 7 every morning. i totally totally hate it. and i hate my damn freaing slow ass grandmother of a computer. it freakin freezes when i need multiple tabs. so much for being efficient. everyday im this close to murdering it. they seriously need to do something about it soon. besides that everything else seems to be going good. maybe except the fact that they make me do stupid stuff that interns do sometimes. which i hate. dont freakin treat me like an intern when you’ve got tons running around the office! oh well. im giving it some time. when the time’s up i’m not gonna sit there and be quiet about it.

so im gonna be late for work. AGAIN! cab fare is totally killing me. argh. and its a headache finding clothes to wear every morning. damn i need to shop. oh well.. till then..i would write more about funny things that go on in the office, and maybe out of it too.

fuunny#1
my manager was interviewing this girl for an internship yesterday. apparently she was from rjc and my school. what a shame. and the conversation went like this:

manager: so what brings you to edelman?
girl: oh.. the bus. i took the bus here.
manager: nonono, let me rephrase, what made you want to come to edelman?
girl: ooh.. my prof. and because everyone said it was good
manager: ok.. so tell me more about yourself. what do you like to do in your free time?
girl: um.. chatting on msn.
manager: do you have any questions for me?
girl: yes, is this those places that you would have to read alot of newspapers? because i dont like to do that.

so much for getting the job girl.. u totally swept your interviewer off her feet.i mean seriously?! the things you say at an interview?! and to think you came from rjc and is in a communications university. i’m ashame you even go to my university. but the bus thing is still pretty hilarious!

hanging high

i enjoy holding your hands, your gentle kisses. i love the way your eyes brighten when you get excited, love the way ur mind works when ure serious. but im confused. confused about what this is, what i am, where this is going or how its even gonna turn  out. honestly sometimes i dont know what to act. i dont know what im suppose to be even. and all i can do i assume. which i hate doing. which is infact what gets most people into trouble.

the things you do surprise me sometimes. some good, some bad. at times you make me feel like im special and everything else doesnt matter, yet sometimes it seems like im just another girl on the street just like everyone else. i really wish you could take a walk in my shoes, and see things from my perspective. perhaps it would answer a lot of your questions, cuz you cant quite answer a question with a doubt. i never liked being left hanging, being left out of the loop. it gets me really confused, and prolly makes me think a bit too much than what i should.

i wish i didnt have to feel this insecure, never wanted to hang on to something which doesnt seem to be there most of the times. i dont want to get my hopes up and see them crash, neither do i wanna give myself false hopes. its tiring. honestly it drains me out sometimes. and its not easy going on not knowing anything else except the fact that you do know everything. i dont want to walk away, neither do i want wake up someday and find out that you never really wanted to stay..

on top of my game

ive never been happier having my stress levels raised this way.

the enchanted forest

sometimes i wish u were right by my side. just to hold me and not say a word. sometimes i dont even understand why the tears just fall. sometimes it hurts, sometimes it doesnt make sense too. but its a secret beauty, that only i see. and its when you find something that’s as enchanting and raw, something so real and unpolished, that u really do know, that’s what special means.

my pillow still smells like you

always love – nada surf

the surprise party for evelyn on saturday turned out pretty cool. kieron was so sweet to plan the whole entire thing. there was even a fake planed party to distract her. it was really really sweet. especially the part when she teared. its quite rare to see guys but in so much effort these days. and im dreamin on my prince charming to come sweep me off my feet one day. every girl dreams of that.

dessert and coffee after was lovely. someone felt a little adventurous so we traveled all around singapore, almost. somehow it didnt feel like time was passing by so quickly at all. there were moments i wished time had froze right there and then.everything else doesnt matter sometimes, when you’ve got the right company.

i don’t like goodbyes. never did.

i kissed you while you were still sleeping

we are golden – mika

major party at zouk on Friday. somehow everyone from church was down. and drinks were never ending. i think by 1 or 2 everyone was pretty smashed. and its so bizarre how much silly stuff the guys would do when they’re high. funny as hell. dancing off the dance floor was way better than dancing in it. 2 songs and i was too grossed out by the sweaty bodies making out. i never understood that.

i was so so glad theo and josh came too. at least there was some sane company. and somehow my friends said im on my phone texting or doing something half the time. i never ever realize that. oh well.. it was a decently fun night. i think im getting too old to party.. then again, maybe it just wasnt crazy enough..

don’t wanna stop at hello

im afraid that im stumbling onto something i shouldnt go near to. not now at least. it feels like walking into a candy store and finding the secret door to the hidden factory. im afraid to think of you, yet there are so many things i wanna tell you. and when i do see you, its like my brain stops functioning, and its just blank, and all i wanna do is stare at you.

sometimes u ask me why do i look at you like that? or why do i give you that look? but honestly im not giving u any look. i dont even know what it is. im just finding my way back to earth again. u take my mind to places ive never dreamt of. pleasant, maybe not, but each experience is new, wild and surreal. u make me think. a lot about things people normally overlook, about the things we tend to just brush aside or are too scared to face up to. i admire your courage to face the blunt truth, even though sometimes i find the truths too real to believe. i believe there’s a miracle in everything, but the miracle in you is that you turn that into logic which actually makes sense.

and we danced like there’s no tomorrow

more photos of last wed’s girls night out. for a moment i did feel like old times. dancing our hearts out with not a single care in the world. things change, people grow old, but the special moments will always be there.

shake shake shake, shake boom!

i can’t seem to make you mine – the clientele

yet another mambo night, with close to no alcohol and very bad music. it just keeps getting worse now. but the night was rather entertaining with countless of weird dudes dancing their asses off. it was hilarious and we couldnt stop laughing. the top 2 of the night had to be mr shake-your-booty-till-it-drops and mr squid.

mr shake-your-booty-till-it-drops was vigorous. ive never seen someone dance so hard he looked as if he was trying to pop his butt out. it was as if beyonce’s krumping spirit kinda possessed him. and boy did he go low low loww.. and mind u this was all in mambo. none of that hiphop rnb grinding shit for him to drop it like its hot. i never expected anyone to dance this way to happy bubbly mambo tunes.

and next we had mr squid. with his long tentacles all shaking like jelly. i think there was a point i actually wondered if he had bones in his arms and shoulders. it was kinda scary and funny as hell. from far it looked like he was a piece of jelly fish and someone took him and shook him real hard and everything just jiggled and squiggled all over.

kudos to the top 2 dancers of the night!

being perfectly sober is hilariously funny. especially on a wednesday. and i still can’t figure out what it is but there’s something about the oldies and disco that makes you happy.

patience

catching the butterfly – the verve

they say you wont walk out of the valley until you’ve found what you were supposed to learn. how do you find something if you feel like you’re the one that’s lost? people have told me that i’m confused. im a confused girl or i dont know what i want.

but why is it that i feel like i do know what i want. i know what i need, but i just dont know how to start or go about to get it? somehow the variables outweigh the constant. and i feel somewhat stuck. perhaps it the fear of taking that risk, to commit to something and not look back. men fail. people fail you, all the time. and i just wish for once i could do something just for myself. im tired of getting played, being cheated, used whatever. no im not holdng any grudges, i cant be bothered to with worthless people. i just would like to accomplish something to tell the whole world to shut the hell up about judging me.

im not complaining about how sucky my life is. things have been pretty alright. just moving at a very slow pace. little surprises here and there keeps the smile on my face. you have been sweet, even though u’d hate to admit that. i guess as humans we are never contented with what we have. we always want a bit more. and i guess tts not exactly bad. i mean,  i need to find my direction again. i need to start my career. its been stagnant for way too long and im running outta time. its like a part of me has to start working. but this doesnt mean the rest of me isnt working just fine. im trying very hard to be patient. trying to not give up. ive always been a fighter, and now sitting and waiting just isnt quite my thing.

i told him that my sheets smelled like him, and he replied, “i marked my territory”.

im glad you’re over. and its a new me.

i feel like an idiot, thank you very much

ignorance is bliss. i don’t wanna know anymore.

its was lies, disguised pathetically as the truth of the heart. i never should have bought into the source without doubting it. it was too good to be true, the things you said, the things you made me believe.  i’ve always known, and should have gone with my guts and stayed far away i should have listened to my friends, i should have even listened to your friends, or so called. cuz that would have prevented  me from making myself a big complete idiot.

its not the hurt that sucks, its just feeling like a complete fool that kills. well, its not like im already dead. im glad parts of things were removed long ago, or have been started for that matter. they say everything happens for a reason, and i should have gone with my guts and seen the signs.

all the sugar coated, honey flavoured words are nothing but the harsh reality that you are just the same as the others. and now all i can blame is my brilliant self. i don’t blame you, you played it well, and u won. kudos. like i said its feeling like a fool that would make me wanna kill myself. but no, life doesnt revolve around you and its just begun for me. i don’t care about anything now.

im just shocked how people can lie to you with a straight face and go to bed with every inch of conscience not eating them alive. how much people bend over backwards to fulfill their selfish desires, materialism, emotional, whatever, and forgo their values and what not. it makes me sick to even write this. and sunday’s are supposed to be fun and happy. but its so far its been fucked up.

i should have seen it coming,
i should have read the signs
its like stupid boy bands singing
a total waste of time.