Monthly Archives: May 2009

dream a little dream

take me somewhere nice – mogwai

sleeping on the wrong end of the bed and upside down gives you weird and very srange dreams. i can’t quite figure if its the lack of proper sleep, over dose on sleep, messed up brain mash, afternoon naps or maybe its sleeping right next to my mac. i need proper sleep hours and a job. arghh..

anyway.. i found a really adorable photo shoot from this online magazine papier mache.

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page_76_77makes you just wanna be a kid all over again doesnt it?

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intolerable

Neon Wilderness – The Verve

its 430 in the morning and im wide awake. i seriously need to do something about my body clock. its so screwed up i really feel like i’m living in the wrong continent.

ive been bumming around for almost a month now. and i need to get out of this selfpitywallowshitnonsense. its really depressing not having anything to work towards. and suddenly its all so mellow, and you start to think about things you really shouldnt be thinking of. replaying scenarios in your head over and over again, trying so hard to figure out what the hell did you do.

they say “absence makes the heart fonder”, but so often we don’t bat an eyelid at the second part of the phase, which is “hope deffered makes the heart sick”. its so ironic how the more you try to make something work out or believe in it the more it just screws you over, and makes you feel like a completely fool wasting your time and effort on it. be it a job, a friendship, a relationship, a personal goal whatever. its tiring if there’s only a one sided communication and the other shows no response whatsoever. its like you try so hard to be the best at whatever it is you’re trying at, but when you go running to show off your hardwork, you get the cold shoulder, the can’t be bothered attitude and mockery. the theory works for all aspects and there always always is a limit to everything. a limit to how much effort one is gonna put in, a limit to the number of nights falling asleep in tears, a limit of walking away trying to think its all ok. sometimes it is so real, and sometimes its just nonsense your mind plays on you just to mess with you.

i really should start getting a job proper. instead of freelance assignments that sustains me. i used to have so much drive and an ambition, perhaps i started off too early, but right now, im just so burnt out its like i only have strength left for the day itself, and that frustrates me. im always in a daze lately, and my friends have told me that. im never that out of it. i hate drifting away to that dark alley where i just replay everything in my mind over and over again wishing i could undo things and make things different. things which i cant even understand. i don’t even understnd why is it i feel this way. i used to be able to fall asleep pretty fast once i close my eyes, but now i hate closing my eyes for the fear of random images and thoughts flodding my mind.

its as if sometimes you feel completely hopeless and helpless just because you can’t seemĀ  to get a grasp of yourself or control yourself from feeling a certain way. what more is that you know you aren’t like this. you’re not this person that is unfolding, and the more you fight it, the bigger the struggle. i don’t know anymore. im praying for so many things, but it seem like its just one or two things. i don’t wany this temporary high/happiness, im tired of the temporal ups and downs. i don’t know anymore, but i still do know what i want.

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100 sticks and counting

you picked me – a fine frenzy

loof

the boys were having drinks at loof and apparently they were serving free satays there every monday. i never knew there were such deals in singapore. and who would have known these boys happily sat there are ate almost over 100 sticks with 2 jugs of beer, which happened to be one-for-one btw. im pretty sure loof made a lost having us there.

mad drinking party

it was round 2 of drinking from the nigh before at sentosa, so it was off to josh’s place for the very last min crazy drinking party. jon had an entire school bag filled with hard liquor.. lets just say what happens there stays there. i’m just glad mel and i managed to dodge some of the pretty nasty dares involved in the game. way to go guys.. its pretty scary how much alchol they can down.. especially jon who had half the bottle of absinth.. urgghhh..

oh yes, im really thankful i didn’t die in the ride home after all that jon.. gee..

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contentment

hide and seek – imogen heap

distance seems to be able to put a hold on friendship, in a really odd way. it’s as if time stood still the period that we were all apart, busy doing our own stuff, school, relationships, meeting new people. just last monday, i met up with angel and lenise, both whom ive not met in a few years, but have known since a really really long time ago. and its amazing how none of them have changed, or so it seems. it was a pleasant girly afternoon, the usual girly girl talk, tea and bon bons, and shopping. its really different hanging out with these girls, and everything seems so perfect and well fitted for them. perhaps they may not be like the cream of the crop or the best and all up there, but they’re happy and contented with what they have. there’s something really beautiful about contentment which makes you seem pretty much fulfilled.

its been almost 4 years and angel and melvin are still sweet as ever, and dear lenise is happy staying single for now. and of course, i’m always and have always been the same, super single as some would put it, since dinosaurs roamed he earth. i think some of my friends have got tired asking me about it. perhaps i don’t deserve it, or i don’t know how to even, ok next topic. this one’s getting kinda stale. picture time!

angel len

lenise & angel still the same since we were back in scgs



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liquid bookmark

intro

saw this off some blog and its pretty damn cool! yes, i totally love silly nonsense like these which always costs a bomb! it’s USD$29 for that piece of thing! but i still like it.

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love will tear us apart

reunion – stars

bumming=bad for your health

the past week has just simply flown by. and procrastination is really eating my life up. so much bumming, and not getting any work done. but also a hell lot of fun. ive been thinking alot the past month. with nothing else to occupy your mind, you’ll be forced to think. and i have a problem, more like a fear of losing this freedom that i now have. which is getting pretty bad. imma think more and get myself outta this hole.

i need to find my motivation, my passion and my drive once again. i need a new muse.

oh well, with that said, this was the crazy crazy week with the boys. and according to them i’m a boy. which annoy’s the hell outta me. do i look like a freakin boy to you?!

and so the alcoholic journey begins..

Thursday 14th May
Sabai sabai

it was my first time to a thai club in singapore. actually to a thai club anywhere. and i wasn’t excited going at all. just that i was home and bored and jon offered to pick me up and send me home so why not?! there’s always a first to everything.

so we headed down to Sabai Sabai to cure jon’s withdrawal syndromme from bangkok. it was.. pretty ok, sans the sleaze. i really cringe when i see girls just throw themselves at guys, especially guys that are waaayyy disgusting and have only sex in their minds. you can tell from the look in their eyes. downright gross. they should get their hands and else where chopped off since they don’t know how to respect a lady.

anyway, that aside, it was pretty entertaining! i was like some mini thai concert, with really hot girls and pretty gay dudes. but yes, thai songs are nice. and their dance moves were hilarious. omg if you think mambo is bad, wait till you see theirs. i was lauging till i almost fell off my seat.

thai discojon & alfred

Friday 15th May
Sentosa, Cafe Iguana, Jon’s, Zouk

i love fridays cuz fridays means falling asleep under the sun and getting baked with my girl ally! we were both so tired we just knock out on the beach, its lovely. and tanning was pretty sucessful!

beach with ally

girl talk, music and a gorgeous sunny sky

there was no plans for the evening so went to the usual liat starbucks to bum with jon. and i bumped into someone. someone whom ive not seen in a pretty long time, and is a completely different person from what he/she used to be. never expected to see you at the same place where we used to hang years back. and i was actually thinking about you just a couple of days back. and somehow seeing you just brought back everything. it isnt exactly bad, neither is it good. i’d say it was bittersweet, with a little less sweet. its like tasting chocolates with 90% cocoa. you think its gonna be great, but it turns out less sweet and more bitter and it shocks you, disapoints you, and kills your craving.

oh well.. there wasnt much to do on a friday night, and i was determined to stay away from zouk. so we headed off to cafe iguana for margaritas and nacho, and also to surprise mel at work next door at 1957 or something. i keep forgetting the numbers which is the name of the place she works at.

iguana cafe

apparently the drinks weren’t giving the guy a good enough high so it was off to jon’s place for some absinth and jon’s signature cocktails. the boy makes pretty darn good drinks. and his home is like the liquor section of DFS.

absinth jon

everyone was a little high after the shots and guess where we ended up at?! where else. the place i was determined to stay away from. but it was a good one hour there. they say the more you try to stay away from something/some place, the more you’ll end up there. all thanks to murphy’s law.

Saturday 16th May
Ready Set Glow

i made dinner! yes, mexican too. a small one for jon and josh after church. simple nachos and fajitas which can never go wrong. and jon made devil’s food cake with chocolate sauce which was pretty sinful. so the plan was to head to zouk since everyone else was gonna be there. keith and the boys, marcus and his boys since it was his birthday, the people from church and more. it was insane. i never had so much champagne in one night and all sorts of drinks. it was pretty crazy, running all around. phuture, winebar, and members. i think i partied a total of an hour the whole entire night. the rest was just running around everywhere.

rsg

church peeps: lynette, zech, lins & josh

i wonder who brought the bunny ears?!

Sunday 17th May
Sentosa Jetty

i don’t remember what went on on sunday, but we were all restless from bumming and we decided to head over to sentosa for a very last min midnight picnic. oh yea.. i remember watching angels and demons with lynette, zech and eeron before that. the movie was rather disappointing though, pretty monotonous for a thriller.and predictable too. startrek was way better.

so jon made us 2 cocktails and we got some food along the way and headed down to sentosa to lie on the private jetty. i love that place.. prolly because its out of bounds and away from everything. i’d love to lie there all night watching the stars, and then maybe go skinny dip, with a nice company of course.

i love the midori with peach liquor cocktail jon made. very typical girls drink, and very refreshing. the other had my poison, vodka, some 151 and beer if im not wrong so it was DANGER to me. but it tasted pretty good too, with lemon and pineapple.sounds gross but its amazing how you can’t taste the 151 or beer at all.

jetty picnicjon, josh & alfred
and yes we had to climb over the big gate to get to the jetty

and that was the weekend forĀ  you. i don’t think i’ve ever drank this much.
and it didnt just stop at sunday..

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