this blog is kinda dying. and i need to do something to revive it. soon. but i’ve been barely surviving with the scraps amount of sleep i can get.

so i’ve finally started work. at a really good pr firm. one of the top 3 in the region in fact. and im really really happy i got the job. it was that or nothing. so thank god for that. im refusing to out the name down in case this comes up in any searches. u’ll never know. work starts in an hour and im feeling even more exhausted than before i went to bed. i seriously need a break soon.

i love the shit loads of work. maybe not all the time, but the stress level is good. keeps you going. at least pushing me to reach to my 5-year goal/plans. i had just shared it with my director yesterday, so hopefully that will stick in his head. i actually enjoy working there quite a bit. i just HATE the waking up at 7 every morning. i totally totally hate it. and i hate my damn freaing slow ass grandmother of a computer. it freakin freezes when i need multiple tabs. so much for being efficient. everyday im this close to murdering it. they seriously need to do something about it soon. besides that everything else seems to be going good. maybe except the fact that they make me do stupid stuff that interns do sometimes. which i hate. dont freakin treat me like an intern when you’ve got tons running around the office! oh well. im giving it some time. when the time’s up i’m not gonna sit there and be quiet about it.

so im gonna be late for work. AGAIN! cab fare is totally killing me. argh. and its a headache finding clothes to wear every morning. damn i need to shop. oh well.. till then..i would write more about funny things that go on in the office, and maybe out of it too.

fuunny#1
my manager was interviewing this girl for an internship yesterday. apparently she was from rjc and my school. what a shame. and the conversation went like this:

manager: so what brings you to edelman?
girl: oh.. the bus. i took the bus here.
manager: nonono, let me rephrase, what made you want to come to edelman?
girl: ooh.. my prof. and because everyone said it was good
manager: ok.. so tell me more about yourself. what do you like to do in your free time?
girl: um.. chatting on msn.
manager: do you have any questions for me?
girl: yes, is this those places that you would have to read alot of newspapers? because i dont like to do that.

so much for getting the job girl.. u totally swept your interviewer off her feet.i mean seriously?! the things you say at an interview?! and to think you came from rjc and is in a communications university. i’m ashame you even go to my university. but the bus thing is still pretty hilarious!

i enjoy holding your hands, your gentle kisses. i love the way your eyes brighten when you get excited, love the way ur mind works when ure serious. but im confused. confused about what this is, what i am, where this is going or how its even gonna turn  out. honestly sometimes i dont know what to act. i dont know what im suppose to be even. and all i can do i assume. which i hate doing. which is infact what gets most people into trouble.

the things you do surprise me sometimes. some good, some bad. at times you make me feel like im special and everything else doesnt matter, yet sometimes it seems like im just another girl on the street just like everyone else. i really wish you could take a walk in my shoes, and see things from my perspective. perhaps it would answer a lot of your questions, cuz you cant quite answer a question with a doubt. i never liked being left hanging, being left out of the loop. it gets me really confused, and prolly makes me think a bit too much than what i should.

i wish i didnt have to feel this insecure, never wanted to hang on to something which doesnt seem to be there most of the times. i dont want to get my hopes up and see them crash, neither do i wanna give myself false hopes. its tiring. honestly it drains me out sometimes. and its not easy going on not knowing anything else except the fact that you do know everything. i dont want to walk away, neither do i want wake up someday and find out that you never really wanted to stay..

ive never been happier having my stress levels raised this way.

sometimes i wish u were right by my side. just to hold me and not say a word. sometimes i dont even understand why the tears just fall. sometimes it hurts, sometimes it doesnt make sense too. but its a secret beauty, that only i see. and its when you find something that’s as enchanting and raw, something so real and unpolished, that u really do know, that’s what special means.

always love – nada surf

the surprise party for evelyn on saturday turned out pretty cool. kieron was so sweet to plan the whole entire thing. there was even a fake planed party to distract her. it was really really sweet. especially the part when she teared. its quite rare to see guys but in so much effort these days. and im dreamin on my prince charming to come sweep me off my feet one day. every girl dreams of that.

dessert and coffee after was lovely. someone felt a little adventurous so we traveled all around singapore, almost. somehow it didnt feel like time was passing by so quickly at all. there were moments i wished time had froze right there and then.everything else doesnt matter sometimes, when you’ve got the right company.

i don’t like goodbyes. never did.

we are golden – mika

major party at zouk on Friday. somehow everyone from church was down. and drinks were never ending. i think by 1 or 2 everyone was pretty smashed. and its so bizarre how much silly stuff the guys would do when they’re high. funny as hell. dancing off the dance floor was way better than dancing in it. 2 songs and i was too grossed out by the sweaty bodies making out. i never understood that.

i was so so glad theo and josh came too. at least there was some sane company. and somehow my friends said im on my phone texting or doing something half the time. i never ever realize that. oh well.. it was a decently fun night. i think im getting too old to party.. then again, maybe it just wasnt crazy enough..

im afraid that im stumbling onto something i shouldnt go near to. not now at least. it feels like walking into a candy store and finding the secret door to the hidden factory. im afraid to think of you, yet there are so many things i wanna tell you. and when i do see you, its like my brain stops functioning, and its just blank, and all i wanna do is stare at you.

sometimes u ask me why do i look at you like that? or why do i give you that look? but honestly im not giving u any look. i dont even know what it is. im just finding my way back to earth again. u take my mind to places ive never dreamt of. pleasant, maybe not, but each experience is new, wild and surreal. u make me think. a lot about things people normally overlook, about the things we tend to just brush aside or are too scared to face up to. i admire your courage to face the blunt truth, even though sometimes i find the truths too real to believe. i believe there’s a miracle in everything, but the miracle in you is that you turn that into logic which actually makes sense.

more photos of last wed’s girls night out. for a moment i did feel like old times. dancing our hearts out with not a single care in the world. things change, people grow old, but the special moments will always be there.

i can’t seem to make you mine – the clientele

yet another mambo night, with close to no alcohol and very bad music. it just keeps getting worse now. but the night was rather entertaining with countless of weird dudes dancing their asses off. it was hilarious and we couldnt stop laughing. the top 2 of the night had to be mr shake-your-booty-till-it-drops and mr squid.

mr shake-your-booty-till-it-drops was vigorous. ive never seen someone dance so hard he looked as if he was trying to pop his butt out. it was as if beyonce’s krumping spirit kinda possessed him. and boy did he go low low loww.. and mind u this was all in mambo. none of that hiphop rnb grinding shit for him to drop it like its hot. i never expected anyone to dance this way to happy bubbly mambo tunes.

and next we had mr squid. with his long tentacles all shaking like jelly. i think there was a point i actually wondered if he had bones in his arms and shoulders. it was kinda scary and funny as hell. from far it looked like he was a piece of jelly fish and someone took him and shook him real hard and everything just jiggled and squiggled all over.

kudos to the top 2 dancers of the night!

being perfectly sober is hilariously funny. especially on a wednesday. and i still can’t figure out what it is but there’s something about the oldies and disco that makes you happy.